Death and Dying - Patients & Families
Talking about death helps us to focus on living each day to the fullest. Talking about death will not lead to dying earlier; not talking about death will not lead to living longer. Our life is a story. Birth is the first chapter. Death is the last chapter. Giving birth (the birthing process) can be "good" or it can be "bad". That is, giving birth can be difficult and not at all what one wanted or planned for…or it can be wonderful, what one expected and planned for and even more. The same can be said about death and dying.
Death is a normal part of life. Most of us do not look at it like this because unlike birth, death is feared tremendously. Because we fear death so much, we don’t like to talk about death and dying, especially in public. We tend to shy away from talking specifically about it – frequently referring to it by other words e.g., passing on or passing away…or we avoid talking about it at all. This happens to all of us at one time or another -- as husbands, wives, adult children of aging parents, doctors or nurses, lawyers or priests or ministers.
Most of us are "most" unable to talk about death when it is near us, when we or someone we know is approaching death. This makes death and dying that much more frightening…adding more of a burden to those approaching it who may be very sick, seriously injured and/or older and having to face the multiple losses that accompany aging.
There are good or beautiful deaths. A few of us have been fortunate enough to be a part of these good deaths. A good death is one that occurs in such a manner as to match the wishes and desires of the person dying. A good death is a death that occurs with dignity and inner peace. But like a good birth, a good death takes planning. It is best that this planning occurs well before someone is close to death; planning is difficult when, as we approach death, so many other thoughts and fears grab hold of our minds.
